


In Another World

by JessicaPendragon



Series: Non Canon Keela Lavellan [3]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Multiple Inquisitors, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3996859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaPendragon/pseuds/JessicaPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Keela and Ellana close the same rift, something unexpected happens.</p><p>I had a writing challenge awhile ago on Tumblr about what if your Inquisitors/Wardens/Hawkes met in some twist of fate? So here's my entry about my two lovely lady Inquisitors running into one another. You can learn more about it <a href="http://jessicapendragon.tumblr.com/post/113549625294/writing-challenge">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Hinterlands haven’t changed. The Inquisitor’s entourage strolls across the massive hills and flows through shallow fields at a leisurely pace. Keela tilts her head back and lets the warm sun caress her face. The crunch of grass, the birdsongs and the scent of pine wash over her in comforting waves. It is strange, but it always feels like coming home here. 

“It seems like quite some time since we were last here,” Cassandra says. Keela turns to glance at her companions. The Seeker is close by her side, as always, hand closed over the pommel of her sword. A few paces away Varric is whistling a quiet tune with Bianca slung over his shoulder and eyes peering into the distance.

It is almost like those first trips months and months ago when Keela only had three pegs to her Inner Circle. There is only one difference, but it is one that cuts to her core. It is not a quiet apostate that walks at her other side now, but a Tevinter altus. Dorian flings a hand in front of his face to shoo away fluttering insects and lets out a dramatic sigh.

“And I was perfectly content to keep it that way. Remind me why we are here?”

“We can’t just leave this rift alone. Even if it hasn’t opened, there’s no guarantee it will stay that way for much longer. I’ve put it off long enough.”

Keela came across the note Solas wrote beneath a pile of papers on her desk a week ago and almost set it ablaze. She remembers seeing his writing for the first time. She expected it to be elegant with swooping lines and curls, but while his words were always refine, his penmanship was something different. He wrote in quick lines and oftentimes filled every inch of the paper with his musings. It was intriguing, frustrating, endearing. Just like him.  

“Looks like we’re here,” Varric says as they approach the ruins. 

The Hinterlands haven’t changed, but so much else has. “Let’s finish this then.”

Keela snaps the large rift open with a gesture and a horde of Wraiths greet them. Perhaps they would have posed a challenge once upon a time, but the Inquisitor has faced dragons and gods much greater than these wisps of demonic remnants.

She sends a storm of fire down upon them as Dorian unleashes a barrage of lightning and the creatures slink back to the beyond with barely a scream. The team fans out, dispelling and purging enemies before they can even spawn. Only a few Shades manage to creep into the physical world and Keela takes a step back to watch her friends.

Not a word passes between the Inquisition members for this is a dance whose steps they have long since mastered. Cassandra slices through their ranks and leaves them bleeding and weak before Dorian’s power freezes them in place. Unable to move, Varric’s arrows rain down with all the power of a landslide. 

Once the battlefield is empty, the rift sizzles and sighs as Keela approaches. It is one of the last pieces of him that she has remaining. When it is over all she will have left are memories just as jumbled as the notes he scrawled in the margins and the dried paint of a story he is no longer a part of. 

The anchor burns in her palm, bursting to life at its mistress’ rage. Keela throws her hand forward as if she can release all the anger and hurt boiling up inside and the dark ruin ignites in harsh, green light. She gave him everything,  _everything_ , and he left her with nothing but broken promises. 

It is unforgivable. 

Pressure builds and pops inside her ears as the Veil buckles in strange waves and too late she realizes something is amiss. “Inquisitor, what-”

But she never gets to hear the end of Cassandra’s question. Keela feels something pulling her forward and a line of agony races from the mark and up her arm. When it reaches her head, green lightning blazes behind her eyes, blinding and burning, before the world turns to black.

* * *

“Hurry, close it, Inquisitor!”

Ellana takes a moment to catch her breath before approaching the rift. It was a tough battle, with waves of Wraiths and Shades, and she can feel a cut weeping against her collar from a claw that got too close. The mark aches inside her grip as she lifts her arm. It has gotten easier to control, but the power still makes her arm shiver as a streak of energy bursts from her and into the rift. 

The ruin fills with a buzzing sound as the Veil contracts and shifts. Ellana grits her teeth against the last burst of pain as the rift finally pops out of existence. She’s used to the shower of sparks and echor that usually falls around them when a rift closes, but something else slams hard against the cold stone in front of her.

“Well this is new,” Varric mutters.

The figure unfurls, not a demon but a woman. Long ears peek through black hair, bronzed skin showing beneath bright, emerald robes of a Dalish Keeper. 

“Cassandra…” the stranger moans and Ellana shares a confused look with her Seeker.

“Do I know you?”

The elf gives a short, pained laugh before doing her best to sit up. “What are-”

Ellana feels movement to her right and watches the woman’s vibrant yellow eyes latch on to the last member of the party. Nails scrap against stone as her fingers ball into fists and a strangled gasp echoes through the ancient structure.

The look on her face is tortured and furious, but the way her voice breaks makes Ellana’s heart lurch. “ _Solas?”_

The apostate looks at her with concern, yet Ellana can tell he does not recognize her either. He opens his mouth to speak, but they all watch as this puzzling person shivers and collapses back onto the ground, her eyes closing with unconsciousness.

The ruins fall back into ancient silence until Varric’s voice breaks the still. “Now what?”


	2. Chapter 2

“What have we learned about our new guest?”

Ellana passes a piece from the War Table between her fingers before answering the Spymaster. “Solas tried his best to wake her and learn more on our return trip, but until she can speak to us I’m afraid we won’t know much.”

“Is it true she has a mark on her hand as well?” Josephine asks.

“Yes. Solas is…well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so puzzled. He says it should be impossible, but it is the same power that I have.” 

“Two Inquisitors? As if we didn’t have enough problems.”

“Are you suggesting I’m a problem, Commander?”

Cullen shakes his head at her teasing smile. “It  _will_ be a problem if word of this leaves Skyhold.”

“The Commander is right, of course. We grow more powerful by the day, but our enemies would certainly try to use this to their advantage,” Josephine says. 

“We are taking a great risk keeping her out in the open. We should place her in the dungeons until we know more of her intentions,” Cullen mentions for the second time.

“No.” Ellana remembers watching as Solas tends to the woman. He suggests they do not get too close in case their anchors were to react in a negative way, but she can’t keep away. There is a connection there, even at a distance, that she can’t quite explain.

“No,” the Inquisitor repeats. “I don’t think she’s an enemy and I don’t want her waking up behind bars. She isguarded. I’m not incredibly naive,” she adds when she notices Cullen open his mouth to protest.

He sighs. “I know. I’m only suggesting caution.”

“Of course. Is there anything else? A Blight? Two Blights?” Her advisers share a laugh with varying degrees of exasperation between them and inform her there is nothing more. “Well then, would you care to take a walk with me, Commander?”

“And I suppose we are unwanted? Come then, Josie. We’ll have to find entertainment on our own.” Leliana says as she and Josephine sweep from the room with amusement. 

“Another productive afternoon, wouldn’t you say?” Ellana asks as she loops her arm through Cullen’s. For a moment he stiffens under her grasp, still unaccustomed to their open affections, until Ellana gives him a smile.

“There is still much to be done. Skyhold’s repairs are complete, but I should see to-”

“ _Cullen_ ,” Ellana groans out his name and slips out of his grasp. She turns to face him and stops before the wide open doors of the main hall, an offended pout on her lips. “I just got back after weeks of being away. Did you even miss me?”

“Of course, I-you’re right, forgive me.” Cullen steps closer, wrapping an arm around her waist. His voice dips lower, a tone that vibrates through her pounding heart each time he speaks. She leans forward, fingers diving into the fur about his collar. “I still can’t believe…”

Ellana tilts her head back, waiting for the kiss she knows will come, when a call rings out through the hall. “Your Worship, Your Worship!”

“Dread Wolf take all the messengers in this castle,” she growls as Cullen pulls away to reveal the soldier approaching. “What is it?”

“The prison-I mean the special guest has woken up. You should come immediately.”

“Get out of my way!” Ellana hears as they approach the secluded quarters. A small barrier of guards bar the entrance but move aside as she and the Commander approach. The room is slightly askew, a chair crumpled before a broken mirror. Keela stands on the far side of the bed with two Inquisition soldiers keeping her from moving too far, teeth pulled back in a snarl and eyes wild with anger.

When she sees Cullen, her enraged expression somewhat melts into relief. “Cullen, what is going on?”

“Have we met?”

“Has everyone gone mad?”

“She thinks she’s the Inquisitor, ser,” a guard reports.

“I  _am_  the Inquisitor! How many people have this?” She holds up her marked hand. Ellana steps from Cullen’s shadow and lifts her own arm in response. The anchors shimmer and pulse as if greeting one another.

“At least two,” Ellana says. 

“How…I do not understand.”

“Neither do we. Maybe we could talk and figure this out? Please.” Ellana gestures to the bed and sits down at the nearby table. Keela takes a long moment to look around the room before sitting on the very edge of the bed. Ellana turns to the soldiers. “I think I can take it from here, thank you, and make sure to keep this issue quiet. Commander, please stay.”

The two Inquisitors stare at one another in silence as the guards filter from the room. The quiet lingers, their eyes taking measure of one another in earnest for the first time. Ellana wonders where the elf is from, wearing the clothes of a Keeper, but no vallaslin. It is possible the garments were stolen and she would be inclined to believe it with the venom now rolling in those strange eyes. Yet Ellana remembers the look of agony Keela gave in the ruin. There is pain and confusion fueling this anger.

“My name is Ellana Lavellan, and you?”

Keela shakes her head. “Impossible. I am from clan Lavellan. I would know you.”

“You’re Dalish? But you have no vallaslin.”

“I…” Keela lets out a long sigh, fingers coming up to trace lines no longer there. “I am called Keela and it is a long story.”

When it is obvious she has no intention of telling it, Ellana presses on. “What were doing before you ended up here? Anything might be important.”

“I was closing a rift we discovered after finding elven artifacts.”

“Perhaps that is what caused this, whatever this is,” Cullen says. “Weren’t you closing the same one?”

“So I’ve traveled through time? A time where I do not exist and you do?” Keela narrows her gaze. “Or this is some elaborate demon’s trick to weaken me.”

“If you’ve experienced anything like I have, I think you can tell the difference between the Fade and reality,” Ellana says and the suspicion in Keela’s eyes disintegrates.

“You are right. But I do not-”

It is then that Solas walks through the door and Keela’s reaction is immediate. She jumps from the bed, fingers digging deep into her palms with surprise and rage warring across her features. Solas stops a few paces inside the door and glances between Ellana and their new acquiantance.  

“I can assure you, I mean you no harm,” he says and Keela lets out a dark laugh.

“I cannot say the same.” She takes a threatening step forward as heat radiates from her fists. “You have much to answer for, _hahren_.”

“Wait!” Ellana stands and places herself between them. “If this is not your time then he is not who you think he is. He is not your Solas.”

The pressure growing inside the room snaps out of existence. Keela turns away, but not before Ellana can see her features crumple. They fall silent, waiting, wondering what might happen next. Keela’s voice is quiet, empty of malice and everything else, when she speaks again. “He must hold you in very high regard then if he did not abandon you after the final battle.”

“What do you mean the final battle? You mean you’ve-you’ve defeated Corypheus?” Ellana asks, disbelief and excitement causing her heart to race.

Keela faces them again, her worried brows arching. “You haven’t?”

“As much as I’d like to, I’m not really sure where he is. After the Winter Palace a couple months ago, we haven’t-”

“ _The Winter Palace_? It’s been more than a year since then.”

“You fought Corypheus and won?” Cullen says.

Ellana bounces on her heels. “You could tell us where to find him, how to defeat him. What ha-”

Solas steps to her side, stilling her words with the expression on his face. “Inquisitor, may I speak with you outside?”

“What? She can help us ends this!” Ellana shouts once they are in the hallway.

“It would appear, however fantastical, that she is indeed a person out of place, not only of a different world but time as well. I do believe we already know of the dangers of time traveling, but there is more to consider. By being here, she may already have altered our future, and to mettle with it further may cause unforeseen and dire consequences.”

“You think if she tells us and we change time, something worse than Corypheus swallowing the world in darkness might happen?”

“It is possible, can you truly deny it? Will you risk all of Thedas on the idea that it would succeed for the better?”

Ellana lets out a frustrated sigh. “I suppose you’re right, as usual. What do you think we should do?”

“I believe the rift could be the key. Perhaps if you were to open it again, she may be able to return to her own world. I suggest haste towards any solution. The longer she is here, the more irreparable damage may be caused.”

“Then we’ll return to the Hinterlands as soon as possible. And here I was hoping we’d get to lounge around Skyhold for at least a few days,” she grumbles, her eyes seeking out Cullen’s form in the room beyond. “I had plans.”

“I am sorry.”

“Hardly any of this is  _your_ fault, Solas. Although I’d be very interested to hear what you did in her world to cause such a reaction. She does not seem to like you one bit.”

“Yes,” Solas says and focuses his curious attention back towards their newest addition. Keela is already watching him with fire dancing in her yellow eyes. “So it would seem.”


	3. Chapter 3

Keela leans against the door frame to the main hall and watches the Inquisitor below. Ellana balances atop the low wall that separates the upper and lower courtyard. Cullen walks on the ground beside her, his hand wrapped up in hers to keep her steady and safe. Their faces are clear, soft, and it is beyond obvious who has captured the Inquisitor’s heart in this world.

Ellana yells something and jumps towards Cullen. He easily catches her in his arms, his chiding becoming a laugh to mirror the sweet trill coming out of her mouth. Their music dies away as Ellana takes the Commander’s face between her hands and kisses him before all of Skyhold as if nothing else exists.

Keela looks away. 

This world is strange yet familiar, like someone has come into her room and moved all the furniture a few inches to the right. There is a templar tower where mages should be studying, an infirmary instead of the constant clang of swords in the courtyard. There is an apostate elf where there has been nothing but a ragged hole. 

“Are you ready to depart?” Cassandra asks as she comes to stand next to Keela.

“Very,” she replies.

They step down onto the grass and make their way towards Ellana. She drags Cullen along behind her, although Keela doubts he is ever reluctant to follow her by the light smile on his lips and the flush still on his cheeks.

“Did you sleep well?” Ellana asks when they’ve come closer.

“I would have slept better in my own bed, but it was occupied.”

“Who was- oh!” Ellana laughs and her happiness is hard to resist in turn. “Right. Well, hopefully we’ll get you back to it soon. Cullen is going to accompany us. Apparently he has some dealings in Ferelden we can hit on the way back. Come on, let’s head to stables and join the others.”

Keela’s eyes sweep over the Inquisition members loitering outside the wooden structure. Bull and Blackwall talk with backs leaning against the frame while Cole picks at the heads of grain on the ground. He seems different, somber and more solid. She is glad to see Solas no where in sight even as her traitorous eyes glance around for a peek at his frame. 

“We’ll travel as fast as we can. It shouldn’t take more than a few days to reach the rift, but I suppose you know that,” Ellana says. “Bull, Blackwall and Cole will come with us. We haven’t let...this situation get out to very many, but I trust the members of my Inner Circle to keep it secret.”

Keela’s eyes slide to the man in stolen Gray Warden armor. It is obvious in the straight cut of Blackwall’s shoulders that Thom Rainer has yet to emerge. Secrets, secrets, secrets. Was anyone ever telling the truth? 

“So you’re the other Boss, huh?” Bull says. His gaze appraises her, sniffing for clues and testing for holes in her armor. It’s been so long since she’s seen nothing but trust in him, a trust she betrayed in salt and sea.

Keela looks away with the pretense of checking their gear, but she can tell by the way Bull’s arms cross that he is not fooled. He never is.

“Be quiet, Bull,” Ellana hisses through teeth. “I thought spies were supposed to be discreet.”

“Discreet is not the word I would use to describe him,” Blackwall says and Ellana gives a huff.

“Yes, I know, but-”

“Inquisitor, a word?”

They both turn at the sound of Solas’ voice approaching. Keela lets her gaze skim across him, searching for differences, memorizing anew all that is the same. She doesn’t need to hear their whispered words to know what they speak of, what he wants. It’s clear in the way he avoids her gaze and the fact he is here at all.

“I don’t know...make her uncomfortable...” Ellana’s soft voice rolls through the breeze. She speaks almost perfect Elvhen and the fact surprises Keela. If not for the Vir’abelasan, she wouldn’t be able to understand much of their words herself.

“You might need...Fade can be unpredictable, she is unpredictable,” Solas replies and Keela lets out a snort that attracts their attention. 

If Solas can simply walk away without a care, then she should be able to do the same. Even if he isn’t truly here, she can show him just how strong she is. “It’s all right. Let the Fade expert come,” she says in their forgotten tongue.

Ellana looks embarrassed to be caught speaking of her and Keela does not miss the way Solas’ eyes narrow at this revelation.

“Are you sure?” Ellana asks in Common and Keela nods. “Sorry Bull, but I’ll make sure to take you someplace nice soon.”

“No problem, Boss.”

“Okay then, let’s get on our way!”

It takes them some time to load their supplies before they pass through the gates of Skyhold and into the mountains. It becomes apparent quickly that their journey will be strained. A heavy, awkward silence becomes another burden as none of them seem to know what to say to fill the void. 

Keela soon wishes she could be unconscious for the duration once more. She is thankful Solas steers clear of her, but it is difficult to travel with Cole, Cullen and Blackwall as well, knowing that they are and are not the companions she has spent the last years traveling with.

She feels close to yelling to the heavens just to hear anything when Ellana’s piebald horse brushes against her hart. “Where did you learn to speak Elvhen so fluently? Did Ithelanas teach you too?”

“I do not know any Ithelanas.”

“When I was twelve our two clans merged for awhile when there was fear of humans raiding through the Free Marches. Deshanna asked and he was kind enough to teach me until we separated.”

“I remember that time, but I did no such training. Deshanna and I were not on the best terms for a few years.”

“Are you her First too?”

“Yes, but I was not born into Clan Lavellan. I was...traded.” Keela isn’t sure why she is revealing any of this to a complete stranger, but Ellana’s wide eyes are kind. She is honest in a way Keela is not, open instead of blunt.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Ellana says and it is easy to believe she is sincere. “Where did you learn Elvhen then?”

Keela catches Solas lean forward into her sight, his hart cantering closer, and her willingness to be forthright withers. She is glad this is one question she cannot answer. “I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you.”

“Ah, I see,” Ellana says and moves in closer to whisper behind her hand. “Secret future things.”

Keela smiles despite herself. “Yes, secret future things.”

Ellana drums her fingers against the reins before bouncing in her saddle. “But we can talk about past things, right? Things that we can’t change.”

“I suppose.”

“We aligned with the mages. You?”

“I disbanded the templars and merged them with the Inquisition.”

Cullen turns in his saddle ahead, frowning. “You did what?”

Keela laughs. “Yes, that’s exactly how you looked when I told you. But it’s kept the mages safe and given the order purpose again.”

“And the Winter Palace?” Ellana asks.

“I reunited Celene and Briala so the elves of Halamshiral may find some peace, hopefully.”

“Celene and Briala were together? I had no idea. Celene rules our Orlais,” Ellana reveals. “And Adamant?”

“Stroud stayed behind.”

Ellana shakes her head. “Stroud?”

“He was Hawke’s contact.”

“How strange, I never met him. I...left Hawke,” Ellana reveals and Keela can see the weight of it in this Inquisitor's shoulders. For some reason she can’t quite fathom, it bothers her to see Ellana in discomfort. Perhaps because she has faced these decisions herself and knows what it feels like to be judged, to judge yourself.

“You didn’t leave anyone. They chose to stay. You are not responsible for the actions of others,” Keela says.

Ellana nods, distracted. There is a pause, a breath, before she asks the next question. “Did you...do you know of Tuelena and Roshan?”

“Those names are not familiar to me, no.”

“They were my parents. They were travelling to visit a clan on the coast and the weather was dangerous so they left me behind with my grandmother. There was a bad storm and...I was nine when it happened.”

“I might have heard about an accident like that. Was your mother in charge of the halla?”

“Yes!”

“Where I am from, they both perished along with their daughter.”

Ellana’s eyes grow larger and she shakes her head in disbelief. “I’m...I’m dead in your world? I...”

“I am sure there are thousands of universes where you are alive, Inquisitor,” Solas cuts in as he rides flush against Ellana’s other side. “A thousand where you have never existed, a thousand more where there was never a Breach or Blights. Someone a hundred years ago may have chosen left instead of right and changed the outcome of all. These other universes are beyond your reach, lethallan. It would be best to ignore them and concentrate on what is here, now.” 

“Yes, of course.” Ellana flashes a smile, but it is less bright than before. “I could be a queen in some other timeline, right? Thank you for sharing with me, Keela. I’m uh, I’m going to go speak with Cullen for a little bit. Excuse me.”

She presses forward, weaving between Blackwall and Cole to lead their small band with the Commander, and leaves Keela riding alongside Solas with no buffer. When she looks over, she finds him glaring in cool disapproval.

“May I help you?”

“Did you find it necessary to alert the Inquisitor to her own demise in such a manner?”

“You have no right to chastise me, harellan,” Keela snarls. He doesn’t flinch at the title and she curses his ability to be so aloof.

“I have grievously offended you somehow in your world. If it does not influence future events, I would be curious to know what I have done to deserve such hatred.”

“If only I could hate you, Solas.” Keela clamps her mouth shut, realizing she has said too much in the way her voice breaks in her throat, how even now she says his name like something cherished. His stern gaze disappears and she would laugh at the comical surprise that replaces it if she weren’t so close to screaming.

“Are you suggesting...” Even he cannot find a way to finish the question. Apparently the thought of loving her is too fantastic in this universe too. After wishing for weeks to see him again, suddenly Keela desires to be as far away from Solas as possible.

“I know a lot about you, just apparently not the parts that mattered,” she says before snapping the reigns and leaving him behind.


	4. Chapter 4

There is a world where she doesn’t exist. Worlds, maybe.

She doesn’t know why it bothers her so much. Solas is right. She exists in this one and that’s all that should matter, but the thought still tickles in the back of her brain and won’t go away.

“Inquisitor.”

She snaps her gaze up to find Cullen’s concerned eyes. “Y-yes?” It comes out as a whisper and she clears her throat, trying again.

“Is everything all right?” A thousand jokes spring to her mind about holes in the sky, a mad lyrium god, two Inquisitors, _Orlesians_ , but she looks at him in silent contemplation. There is a world where they are not together. The thought bursts inside in fitful sparks.

Ellana reaches across the small space between them, digs her fingers into the plush fur and pulls him into a kiss. He stiffens with shock before leaning in, a warm hand coming to rest on her leg and squeezing with reassurance. The moment doesn’t last long, but it is enough.

“Everything is fine.”

When they reach the Inquisition camp outside Redcliffe’s farms, a soldier is at Ellana’s heels before she can even dismount. “Inquisitor, we’re glad to see you!”

“What is it?”

“The rift down by the water has reopened and more demons are pouring through. We’ve managed to keep them contained in the valley for now, but we’re not equipped to handle this situation.”

“If a moment can be spared, we should see to it. Inquisitor?” The Commander turns to find Ellana’s eyes burrowing into the faraway hills, bottom lip caught between worrying teeth. She knows exactly what rift it is. The scar down her side burns with the memory.

“Maybe we should wait until we help our friend get home.” 

“A reemerging rift is not something we have previously encountered. We may need her…expertise in the matter,” Solas speaks up and Ellana does not miss the meaning.

“Then I guess we’ll close the rift,” Ellana says lightly even though her fists clench. When their group is farther away from the soldiers, she asks, “do you really think it’s because of Keela the rift is back?”

“It is possible.”

“I hope not. If this one opened because of what happened, then they all could.”

“It is also possible it was not closed properly, considering our encounters with it.”

“Encounters? What happened?” Keela questions.

Feet slow as they dip towards the water and hear the thunder of the falls and the crackle of the tear ripple through the air. “It was my first encounter with Terror demons and, well, they live up to the name. Then the Despair demon showed up and it was too much. We came back a month later and…”

She lifts the shirt at her hip to show the jagged, deep scar. “It didn’t go so good that time either, but I  _thought_  I closed it at least.”

“We should get by them, claim the high ground,” Cullen says, jerking his head to the hillside beyond.

“I suggest Keela does not engage unless necessary or truly needed. We cannot be sure how her mark will interact with our world,” Solas says. The other Inquisitor frowns but does not disagree.

“Right.” Ellana sighs. “Here we go again.”

A few Shades and a Rage demon await their initial attack. Ellana and Solas focus on the fiery beast, ice and stone flying with practiced precision, and it is not long before the creatures all disappear back into the Fade. 

“Not so bad this time.” She spares a smile as they dispel the area before glancing over to see Keela watching with approving eyes. It is strange, but the thought of impressing her makes Ellana proud. 

The rift shifts, pops, and her grin smile falters. Terror demons spring from the earth as Despair rises into the sky. Her mind travels back to those first few months of fear, confusion, loneliness, and for a just moment she is lost in the memory. It is all the time a Terror needs to catch her unawares.

“Inquis-” she hears before its claws descend. Her barrier explodes at the impact and sends her sailing back and away from the others. She hits the ground hard. Stars and red slashes of pain dance across her vision and she knows she should move, thrust another barrier around her body, but her mind rattles with loosened thoughts. 

She breathes out and it turns to steam as the air freezes. “Ellana!”

Cullen’s cry is dominated by the screech of Despair as its horrid attention focuses on her. Ice is her element, but this is more than cold. It is draining, damning. It is a heavy cloak of torment that never lets go. The demon lifts its hands to summon the burning frost and she cannot look away from the agony to come.

The grass crunches beside her a moment before a bubble of green energy bursts to life around her. It is unlike any barrier she’s ever seen, stretching far out from their bodies and swirling with familiar, Fade energy. The attack impacts and breaks apart into harmless snowflakes. The creature tries again, but the result is the same. Ellana looks up to find Keela at her side, hand outstretched and brow narrowed in concentration. 

“Hold this.” Keela hands her staff over before marching through the shield towards the demon, scarlet fire tinged in emerald blaring to life within her palms. Flames ignite beneath Despair, twisting around its limbs and catching on its tattered robes. Even from a distance, Ellana can feel the heat as her counterpart hurls one last fireball at the enemy. Its screams disappear in the inferno until there is nothing but ash.

The barrier around Ellana whispers as the walls slide down and disappear into the ground. The battlefield has grown quiet. Her companions stare at Keela, amazed, but her commander only has a care for his fallen Inquisitor.

Cullen’s armor creaks as he kneels down, gloved fingers reaching out to gently remove Keela’s staff from her hold and turn her face towards him. His thumb brushes soft against her cheek and she feels like melting at the warm concern in his honeyed gaze. “Ellana, are you all right?”

“Yes, I think.”

“Your arm.” She looks down to see red seeping into the beige fabric and feels the cut now that it has been witnessed. He tears a piece of fabric from the cloth beneath his armor and begins to wrap it tight around the wound.

“You are a rift mage yet that barrier was no normal construct of such abilities,” Ellana hears Solas say and looks to see the rest of them approaching. “How did you come by this knowledge?”

“It was…a gift.” Keela replies. 

Ellana winces as Cullen pulls the makeshift bandage tight.  “The rift needs closed. Are you able to stand?” 

“Yes. Help me up?”

Legs wobble, but with her first few steps supported by Cullen she makes it to the rift under her own power. It is time to finish this. Ellana lifts her hand and lets the anchor sing. 

Even after a year, the rush of power still startles her. It tugs within her chest, pulling on threads of magic that war within. Each time she remembers the pain crawling up her arm before the Breach was sealed, remembers the first time she saw her violet eyes almost completely overtaken by the green of the Fade. 

It has gotten easier, but she is tired. Ellana feels her injuries more acutely now that the adrenaline has faded, head pounding from the impact and muscles sore and torn. And she is tired of fighting this thing in her hand every time. She never wanted it, never wanted  _this_.

Her connection to the rift snaps back and she grunts at the jolt of electricity power. It has never been easy, but now it feels impossible. She thinks about pulling away until fingers wrap tight around her forearm. Keela gazes at her with eyes marked by the same power.

“Stop fighting it. Whatever it was before it is now yours to claim. To control.” She sighs and Ellana can hear all the battles she’s faced and the ones yet to come in it. “I know how you feel, but you will never be rid of it. Trust me. Just let it in, lethallan.”

Ellana looks at her a moment more before focusing on the rift. She thought maybe after all of this was over the mark would disappear, foolishly believed everything might go back to the way it was, but if what Keela says is true…Ellana may have never wanted this, but she wants the turmoil inside even less. She wants to be at peace again more than anything.

She takes a breath and stops fighting. The power of the Fade rushes over her, inside her, through her. It does not smother like she was so afraid of, but wraps around her mana with gentle tendrils, warms her soul without destroying the ice always within. 

The green line connecting her to the rift shivers before growing brighter, stronger, and the ache in her hand all but vanishes. It is only a heavy pulse, her heart and the anchor working together for once. The hole to the Beyond closes with a crack and the world is whole again. She feels whole again.

Ellana can’t help but let out a triumphant hoot. “It worked! Thank you, Keela. You’ve changed everything.”

Keela’s eyes waver with discomfort before she laughs, short and deep. “So I have been told.”

“And you…you called me lethallan?”

The other elf’s smile is genuine this time as she squeezes Ellana’s shoulder. “If there is anyone in this world, or any world that I could call kin, it is you, Inquisitor.”

Ellana returns the embrace. “I guess you’re right, Inquisitor.”

“Come, let us see to your injuries and then we can set things back to the way they were.”


	5. Chapter 5

They decide to rest for the night before pressing onward in the morning. Ellana tries to wave away their worries but can’t help squinting at the fire and rubbing her temples to try and relieve the pain drumming between her ears. Even with the power of the anchor finally settling with her own magic, she is in no condition to face another rift, especially one so peculiar. 

From across the embers, Cole laughs at something Blackwall says. A human laugh. Everyday he continues to change into something more solid, skin not so pale and smile stronger. The Grey Warden tips a silver flask into his mouth, wiping droplets of rye from his lips but not the wide smile settled there. Ellana is happy to see the crinkles around his eyes are from happiness and not some worry she still hasn’t uncovered.

The rasp of stone against metal draws her attention back to their small corner of the camp. Cullen’s sword rests across his knees and gleams in the low light of the fire. Ellana watches his hand strike up and down the sharp lines with practiced precision. She wishes they could be alone for a moment so she might feel those fingers around her own or dug into the rings of her hair.

“So where are you taking me after this?” she asks and scoots closer until their hips brush.

“As I’ve said before, I would rather it be a surprise.”

“Hmm.” Ellana reaches out and walks two fingers across the blade. twisting sideways to twine her leg around his. “I couldn’t do anything to change your mind?”

“I’m afraid not, Inquisitor.”

Ellana leans forward, nose brushing behind his ear before her words make him shudder. “Are you sure? I can be very persuasive, Commander,” she purrs, quiet yet deep.

Cullen shakes his head, low rumbles of laughter building in his throat. Gentle fingers calloused by war grasp hold of her chin and Ellana’s eyes flutter shut to feel his lips on hers, soft and full of promise. “Indulge me-”

“I’m  _trying-_ ” 

 _“-_ and allow me this one thing.” The fire make his eyes hypnotizing, a dark amber twisting tight around her lungs, but she knows it’s the heat inside growing each day that truly steals her breath. 

She clears her throat, pushing him away with what she hopes is a playful grin. “Oh fine. I suppose I can wait. Enjoy polishing your sword yourself until then.” 

Cullen’s laugh echoes free across the campfire this time and her companions turn towards the sound. Cole smiles at them both while Blackwall is quick to look away from their moment. Solas tilts his head, amusement in his eyes, before returning to a book lit by a wisp of veilfire at his shoulder. 

Keela seems lost to the tendrils of flame dancing between them, hands braced around a metal mug. Ellana thinks back to today’s battle and the immense power roaring from those fingertips. There’s something indomitable about the strength in her eyes, but an unfathomable sadness too. The carry the same title, same brand, yet they couldn’t be more different. Could Ellana be more like her too if she had made other choices?

“You can ask, but you won’t like it,” Cole says and his voice surprises Ellana, but it is not her that his gaze is upon now. He only has eyes for Keela and the other elf jerks, mouth opening with nothing coming forth. With a little relief, Ellana realizes it is not her mind on display for once.

“Cole!” she warns. “We asked you not to look. What if-”

“I can’t help it, even now. She’s too bright like you. There’s many voices but not the one you want to hear. I told you, you didn’t want them. The other me.”

Keela sighs, suddenly looking so very tired. “Yes, maybe I should’ve listened to you.”

“It won’t hurt time to ask, but it will hurt you.”

“What’s he going on about now?” Blackwall mutters.

“I…” Keela pauses. A lip disappears between worrying teeth before she glances up at Ellana with fierce determination. “I have been wanting to know what you did with the Qunari. Did you face the Venatori with them in the Storm Coast? With Bull?”

“Oh, yes. That. I know it wasn’t the best tactical decision, but I just couldn’t let the Chargers die for me. Enough already have.” For awhile she wondered if she had doomed the Inquisition with her heart, but she would risk it again to see Bull smiling and her friends together.

“And you managed to stop the assassination regardless?”

Ellana frowns. “What assassination?”

“There was a plot to kill the Ferelden royalty, to take control of Denerim. Are the king and queen still alive?”

“There’s no King of Ferelden here since King Cailan died, but Queen Anora is alive and well. We’ve never heard word of any plot like that. I’m sure Leliana would have known all about it.”

Keela takes a breath, then another, eyes darting like a frightened halla around camp as she jumps from her seat. A hand moves to wrap around the base of her throat like she might strangle her own screams. When her eyes meet Solas’ only a fool would miss the desperate pain there. 

“I…” Keela manages to get out before she abandons the attempt and races into the dark forest beyond. 

“Keela!” Ellana calls after her but she doesn’t stop. 

“Ash on the wind, choking, clawing down her throat as she breathes it in. It poisons everything now.  _We must hold that hill at all costs._ She would pay anything to take it back.”

Dread fills Ellana’s stomach. “Cole? Are you saying she sacrificed them?” 

“Yes. She thought it had purpose until now.”

“Creators…I…I’ll go talk to her.”

“No, you’ll make the wound bigger.  _Bears the mark but not the same weight._   _Even she can’t understand._ ” Cole glances at Solas before continuing. “There’s no one here that can help. Not really.”

“What should we do?”

“Give her some space,” Cullen answers as he places a comforting hand on her shoulder. “If she doesn’t return by morning, we’ll send search parties looking for her. Time may be all she needs.”

Ellana doesn’t want to let her go despite Cole’s advice. No one should have to carry such a horror alone. But she listens to her friend and leans into Cullen’s embrace, eyes gazing into the darkness long after Keela’s shape has disappeared.

* * *

 

She thinks about not returning. She thinks about a lot of things in her self-imposed exile through the night. 

Sleep only comes a few hours before dawn when exhaustion overwhelms the turmoil within. Keela wakes with the braid of her hair undone, dark circles beneath reddened eyes even though she did not cry one single tear. Part of her wanted to yet nothing came. There is only metal inside that she fears has been beaten and bent into something unrecognizable. So she stared into the light of the anchor until it burned her eyes and turned everything into a white, blank pain. 

The others stare as she walks into camp, pity in their eyes, mouths open in hopes of quelling her pain, but they cannot find the words. Her counterpart is the only one who steps forward to offer whatever comfort she thinks could possibly help a pain she can’t even comprehend. Keela speaks before she has to suffer Ellana’s empathy. 

“If we could see this done as soon as possible, I would appreciate it.”

The other Inquisitor pauses before nodding. “Right, of course.” 

They leave in a heavy silence as the Inquisition soldiers look on with worried faces. It is not far to the rift so they abandon the horses instead of trying to navigate the hills. In truth, Keela is hesitant to return to her world, limbs dragging her behind the Inquisitor and her companions like dead weight. What awaits her there but loss?

Keela hears the soft signal of his bare feet approaching and growls, low and dangerous. He promised to tell her the truth and he left. He left her to face this madness alone. “Leave me be, Solas.”

“I only wish to help, if possible.”

“Help? Sometimes I wonder if you were ever here to help or were merely after Fen’Harel’s orb as well.” The venomous words are out faster than they can be kept them at bay and she knows she’s said too much by the way his face freezes in shock. 

“How do you know it is his orb?” It is not the question she expects. She grabs his arm and stops to distance them further from the others. 

“ _You_   _knew?_  I learned after the fact, after-”  _the Vir’abelasan_ she almost says, sense sifting away under another one of his omissions, but manages to holds her tongue this time. “Since the beginning you knew the full nature of the foci? Of course you did. Why would you ever tell me a single truth!”

“I-”

“Stop. I cannot hear another lie from your mouth. I cannot-” She sighs, broken and sharp, fingers still bunched in the fabric of his tunic. Only when his hand wraps around her wrist does she realize how close they have become. It is easy to see the flecks of silver in his eyes. Keela knows it’s not _him_ , but when this Solas doesn’t deny her she can’t help but be drawn closer. 

Her eyes drift down to the jawbone against his chest, unable to keep his gaze but unwilling to move away. She has missed being in the same space, feeling the heat of his body tangling with her own. She has missed him despite it all, or perhaps because of it. “I only ever wanted you to trust me. I wanted, I want…”

Gently, he pries her touch from his arm and she does not fight it, barely even crumbles when he steps away. “In every world, it appears I will always be foolish. I am sorry, Keela.”

“Say it again.”

“I am-”

“No. My name?”

He hesitates and she knows that look all too well. He’s wondering how much to give her, how much to give in. Solas shifts his hands behind his back, open and closed at the same time, protected from whatever may occur. “Keela.”

She laughs and looks towards the hills, the iron of her heart twisting sharp, edges he demanded cutting without mercy. It is his voice, deep and cherished, but it is devoid of everything she has come to love. Everything she thought was hers. 

“It wasn’t you who was foolish, Solas. It was me,” she says and walks away.

The ruins are quiet and empty when they delve into the darkness. Ellana and Keela light the veilfires around the room while Solas stands in the center, searching for the loose stitches in the fabric of the Fade.

“The Veil is intact, but very thin. I imagine it would take little effort for a rift to form again.”

“What do you think we should do?” Ellana asks.

“We were both using the anchor to close the rift at the same time. Perhaps using it together again will open a way to my world?” Keela suggests.

“Solas?”

“It seems the most probable solution and I can offer no alternatives. We should, however, prepare for resistance.”

“The rest of us will deal with whatever comes through. You must concentrate on the rift,” Cullen says as his sword slides free.

The two Inquisitors move towards one another with marks in their palms pulsing louder as they grow nearer. “We might not have a lot of time if this works and I want you to know I’m honored to have met you. Thank you for helping me, Keela.”

“You are welcome. It wish you well on the rest of your journey.”

“Sure you can’t give me any hints?” Ellana asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

Keela gives her a brief smirk, eyes flashing to the Commander standing ready to the side. “Only to take moments of happiness where you find them. The world will take the rest. Advice, from an old friend.”

Ellana nods although she doesn’t understand. Not yet. “Well, let’s send you home.”

Arms lift in unison and anchors sing a duet of thrumming power. The air shakes as power surges from them and connects, twisting together and forming one stream. As the world splits open wide, the seams breaking almost knock them from their feet and they brace for what may come.

Yet no demons vomit forth from the Fade for the rift does not lead to the world of spirits. Looking through they can see a reflection of the worn stones of the ruin, but moon and starlight peek through the entrance above the stairs. 

“Look, it worked!” Ellana yells, smiling brightly.

“You should not linger here,” Solas says over the din of magic swarming thick, but Keela does not jump through immediately and instead looks to Cole to find waiting for her. 

“Yes, I can still do it. I think.” 

“Do what?” Ellana asks.

“She wants to forget.”

“What? But…”

“I can’t remember this. I can’t.” Keela shakes her head, fighting back the building agony inside. The decision shattered her the moment she made it and to know it was pointless in the end will destroy her completely. Even if she makes it back to her world, there will be nothing of her after passing through the rift. “Everyday I have to live with that choice and to know…to see Bull’s face… _I can’t_.”

“I-I see. I understand.” Ellana steps away and the strange boy born of the Fade moves to Keela’s side.

“I can take it all away, if you want. Take him away-”

“No! No.” Keela glances at the wayward apostate. She fills her leaking memory up with the way his nose crinkles with confusion, the soft lines of his lips she took for granted. Eyes that change like the weather across vast seas. None of this will matter in a few seconds, but she doesn’t care. She wants to remember now. When she’s holding as much of Solas as she can without bursting, she finally turns to Cole again. 

“That is a pain I want to live with,” she responds and he smiles, already knowing.

“I’ll close the rift after you if I can,” Ellana says. “I…Goodbye, Keela.”

“Goodbye, Inquisitor.”

Cole reaches out to touch her forehead and then she’s falling through sound and color, tumbling through worlds and trailing memories in her wake. She feels like she travels forever, spinning end over end, until she forgets how she got here in the first place. There are fading faces, red hair and green eyes, ice instead of fire, a healing hole where a searing knife used to be. Keela reaches out for the knowledge but it slips through her fingers.

She slams into something hard and then all she knows is the struggle to get oxygen back into her lungs and banish the bleary stars bursting in front of her eyes. A loud bang shakes the air and ground around, but the sound of it is muted to her ringing ears.

As she takes her first full breath, a voice cuts through the confusion. “Keela!”

Firm hands grip her shoulders to haul her up. It takes a moment to recognize the steel cut color of Cassandra’s eyes. “Inquisitor, are you all right?”

Keela looks herself over, feeling for breaks or blood and finding nothing but bruises. “I believe so. What happened?”

“You disappeared into the rift as it was closing. That was three days ago. We’ve stayed close since then unsure if you would reappear here or elsewhere,” Cassandra answers.

“And here you are,” Dorian adds and slips an arm inside hers. “Gave us quite a fright, please don’t do it again. You truly remember nothing?”

“I…” There’s something just at the edge of her consciousness, yet the more she tries to see it the more it slips away until there is nothing but frustration. “No, it’s all gone.” 

“A shame that, I’m sure it is an interesting tale. Let’s get you to a healer and a bedroll. Perhaps it will come back with time.”

With her friends’ assistance, Keela climbs up the steps opening into the quiet light of night coating the hills and treetops of the Hinterlands. Despite an ache growing in her head she feels lighter, as if a great weight has been lifted from her shoulders she didn’t even know as there. It bothers her that she can’t remember, but whatever happened seems to have been something good.

Keela pauses at the threshold to look towards the great moon looming high and shining bright in the darkness. Somewhere close by a wolf howls, short and excited barks echoing into the sky, and Keela steps back into her world once more.


End file.
